She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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