Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
