whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
