Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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