um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
