im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
