So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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