so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
