party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
