Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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