Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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