so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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