I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
