Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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