Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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