I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Randomize
