just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
