we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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