This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
