awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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