You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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