So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
