Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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