(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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