Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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