How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
