It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
