Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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