do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
