She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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