Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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