i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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