Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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