Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
