when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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