Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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