we have officially lost it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
