Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
