I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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