last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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