please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
