if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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