Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
