I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
