Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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