just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
