finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
