belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
