Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
