They should really pass out barf bags in church
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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