just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
