I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
